Friday, September 23, 2016



I had one of my ex-coworkers/friends and my male friend do the assessment test on me and the one thing that surprised me was how high my male friend scored me on Verbal Aggressiveness Scale. Now to give you some background my coworker/friend was chosen because she and I conducted training together and she has always said she admired my skills to communicate, listen and draw in a crowd, and my male friend and I were best friends in college and when he finished college we lost touch for 12 years and we just reconnected again May of this year. So I was really interested in how the scores looked.  The Verbal Aggressiveness Scale scores differed.  My male friend scored me higher than myself and my coworker so I read what each score meant.

My score was 62, my coworker was 59 and my male friend was 68, even though they were all in the moderate category, my male friends was one point away from significant.  Now I have to say that my communication with him is a bit more informal and not as professional because I am a bit lax and comfortable with him, he lets me be who I am and doesn't try to change who I am so when I read the significant one I was a bit shocked because I am not an attacker when it comes to communication. My coworker and I scored more closely and she and I worked together for a little over a year before I left the agency. When she and I talked about the moderate rating in my communication, she said that I am very fair in my communication and that I will always back my argument up with facts and am very respectful when I do it.

When I asked my male friend if he thought I was aggressive in my communication, he said that I am a very outspoken person, who is confident and strong-willed and will not back down from anyone but it isn't intentional but a defense mechanism if I feel I am being attacked.  We discussed this further and we both feel it has to do with me going through a divorce and just making sure I am more protective of myself simply because I feel I have to be more aggressive in my communication with men then I do with others.

I loved this assignment, it was so interesting to see how others viewed me and how I viewed myself in my level of communication on different levels.


4 comments:

  1. Wow, how very interesting. I think it's normal for our peers to see us differently than our family members and friends. I think that's excellent how your friend and coworker both agree that you speak the truth and you can prove yourself with evidence and not back down. I too am the same way, but I can be argumentative with my spouse just as you said, because of the comfort level.thanks for sharing!!

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    1. Your welcome, I can be a very argumentative person and I have tried to be more open minded when I see myself going there. I have even been told that my words cut deep. I do not sugercoat anything and that is why my friends do come to me because they know I will keep it real with them.

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  2. I love the story you shared about your male friend. It's great how you communicated with someone you lost touch with for quite a while. Then for there to be a room for a lot of conversation about it is a great reflection of your perceptiveness to his comments. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. Joyce,in college my male friend was so easy to talk to. He was such a great male friend and when we reconnected it was like we had never had those 12 years missed.

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